Welcome to the first Winged Wednesday post of 2013! I’m going to wax philosophically for this post, but I promise to get back to some angel facts in some upcoming posts.
On New Year’s Eve, I went to a friend’s party, where we each drew these Angel tarot cards that would describe our year ahead. People drew a variety of cards that brought laughter or joy. But the card I drew for 2013 was Forgiveness. The meaning of the card explained how I was holding onto things and I needed to forgive.
In my life, I’ve seen people do some pretty awful things, some of those things have been done to me, and it seems the impact of another person’s actions affects me and follows me around.
Forgiveness as a notion has always intrigued me. So much so that it’s one of the themes of my upcoming novel. Forgiveness is not about condoning incorrect behavior, but rather letting go of its impact on you. I believe the quote “Judgment is mine sayeth the Lord” is about letting God, Karma, or the Universe handle the Judgment part of things, so we, as humans can let it go. What that means for me is that we must let go of the sense of control that holding on brings us.
I understand all that intellectually, but emotionally I was stuck on the notion that forgiveness required some level of acknowledgement of wrong doing on the perpetrator’s part before I could forgive another person. Sometimes, that remorse never happens.
So, yesterday, I spent the day meditating, and what came to me was a need to let go of the past and the future. The only thing that matters is the present moment. There’s no way to fix the past or change the future, because the future, by definition, never actually arrives. The only way to create the future I want is by being fully in the present. From there, my present state of being–emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually–creates the future.
When I allowed myself to meditate and be in the present, feelings came forward. These were feelings I wasn’t aware I’d been hanging onto. They came from past experiences, some as recently as a few days ago, others dating back many years. By allowing them to come forward into my present, rather than suppressing them, I was able to feel them and let them go and thus experience a true present.
From my meditation, I learned that forgiveness first and foremost was with myself. I was reminded that I am a spirit here having a human experience. Not everybody knows that about themselves. Sometimes, they act from fear, from greed, or from hatred.
My path crossed with theirs so I could learn to choose my highest good in every instance–even the most challenging ones. Sometimes, as a result of another’s words or actions, I did not choose wisely. I got caught in a limiting idea or belief about myself as a result of another person’s actions.
However, my reaction, or the fear I felt, was not their fault. I needed to forgive myself for that. By so doing, I was able to let go of another layer of things I carry with me from my past and face the New Year ready to create my future.
How about you? Did you find yourself contemplative on New Year’s Day? Did you find yourself letting go of your past? How did you do it?